I'd Like Not to be a Tree!
by An Inkay Pencil
Summary: When Pit and Viridi get into an argument, Viridi finally has enough and uses a strong spell to turn Pit into a (You guessed it) tree. How will she break this curse? Can Pit be saved or will Dark Pit, the latest edition to Viridi's army, eventually break down to the point of being a pile of sentient bones?
1. Chapter 1

Today was not a good day for the Goddess of Light.

Palutena sat next to a maple sapling. Her green eyes met Viridi's yellow. They blazed in anger. The Goddess of Nature flinched. "I'm sorry Palutena! I-I didn't mean to!"

Dark Pit and Phosphora watched from nearby. The dark angel's eyes were wide, while Phosphora's mouth hung open.

Phosphora struggled to get words out of her mouth. "What in the world... Mistress Viridi?"

"You need to turn Pit back to normal," Palutena ordered Viridi. "Now."

"I can't!" Viridi threw her hands up. "That was one of my more powerful spells and I don't know the cure!"

Palutena fingered the sapling's leaves. "You have to find SOMETHING! We can't just leave him like this!" She stood up, tears forming in her eyes. "Pit, I'm sorry..."

"Palutena..." Viridi hung her head in shame. Pit and her had been at it, arguing about humanity when she had used the spell on him. She had meant to fire it at a plant that wouldn't grow in her garden, but it backfired and hit the poor angel instead.

Dark Pit and Phosphora had been talking amongst a small field of daisies when it had happened. Palutena herself had been minding her own business in Skyworld. Things were fine and dandy until the Palutena had tried to kill her. Viridi reminded herself to force Pittoo to clean her throne room, but only if she got out this confrontation alive.

"Change him!" Palutena hugged the tree and stared at her angrily. "Please!"

Viridi turned away from her. "No amount of begging will help, Palutena. That spell was only in it's beta stage." She began to walk away from the small group, her head hung.

The Goddess cried, "Viridi!"

"...No," she said. "I'll go find a cure. Go home and rest. I'm sorry for what I did." She looked back Palutena. "Really."

"VIRIDI!"

"GO HOME!"

A flash of light illuminated the area. When Viridi turned around, the Goddess of Light was gone.

* * *

><p>Phosphora flew up beside Viridi. "Are you alright?"<p>

"I'm not," she told her. "Go back to your chambers and leave me alone for the rest of the day." She met Dark Pit's eyes. "Before you do that though, make him scrub my throne room AGAIN. If he's to become one of us, he'll have to show his loyalty better."

Dark Pit just glared back, his arms crossed. Viridi still did not understand why he of all people would want to join the Forces of Nature. It was strange to have him around too, observing how she operated. It was almost as if he was a spy for Palutena.

She walked up a flight of stairs towards a large door, opening it. She suddenly flew in. The door slammed and she was gone.

* * *

><p>"Oh goody..." Dark Pit uncrossed his arms. He was not looking forward to doing Viridi's throne room all over again. That place grew thorns so easily that it was hard to get into small areas without something hurting.<p>

He walked over to the maple sapling. "Pit, why did you think arguing with HER was a good idea? I've been zapped five times with a chicken shape shifting spell now and I'll let you know that it isn't fun!"

The tree offered no response. Phosphora tapped him on the shoulder.

"We should go," she said. "I don't want Mistress Viridi getting more upset than she is now."

He rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, whatever." He gave the tree a somber look before following Phosphora into Viridi's temple.

How was this going to affect him? Dark Pit hoped that the effects wouldn't be bad. At least he wasn't unconscious right now. He shivered when he thought back to that dark three year period. He just knew that he never wanted to wake up in a field of dead spiders ever again.


	2. Chapter 2

The Goddess of Nature sat on a bed of grass in the corner of her chambers, studying the many piles of books in front of her. She turned to Craglanche, who stomped in carrying some more.

"Put them down," she told him.

The rock monster dropped them. A loud thump rang through the temple. Viridi winced and looked down the large hole Cragalanche had created.

She grumbled, "I should've added the word "gently"."

* * *

><p>Phosphora and Arlon watched as Dark Pit crawled around with a pathetic napkin, swiping at every little dust mite he found.<p>

"This is rediculous," he said. "I did not come here to be Viridi's janitor."

"I know right?" Phosphora wiped imaginary sweat off her forehead.

Arlon looked at her. "I thought Mistress Viridi-"

"She just called me saying I have to help him." She giggled. "I won't of course. The little guy can surely defend himself from the dust monsters."

"Ha ha," Dark Pit sarcastically replied. "That's so funny I might've died."

"I agree," Arlon quickly added. "She has a thing for humor."

Phosphora glared at the butler. "That was sarcasm."

"Uh, right," he pulled at one of the cuffs on his shirt. "I'll be leaving now." He left the room and shut the front doors.

* * *

><p>Phosphora flew up beside Dark Pit. They watched as a small thorn on the wall slowly grew bigger.<p>

"Viridi must be in a really bad mood," she sighed.

"Of course," Dark Pit replied. "That _was _Pit that got turned into a tree. The same Pit she had helped to save Palutena and me." He stood up and plucked the thorn from a vine on the wall. "I just can't believe she'd do such a- OW OW GET IT OFF!" The thorn dropped out of his hand and into a garbage bin nearby.

Phosphora looked in. She started laughing. "It looks as if the thorn grew thorns!"

"Not funny!" He grimaced and turned back to the wall. Three more tiny thorns had taken the previous one's place. "I hate my job!"

More laughing from his companion ensued.

* * *

><p>Viridi's garden was a terribly silent place. Only the wind broke that silence once in awhile, brushing against Pit's tiny... Tree branches?<p>

The angel grumbled to himself. "First eggplant, then tempura, then a ring, and now I'm a tree." He sighed. "Darn it..." Pit could only see straight forward. Those bushes a few feet away were already tiring out his eyes. "Where is everyone? I hope Lady Palutena isn't-" He felt as if he had to itch behind one of his arms... Or rather branches. Pit attempted to move the branches, but couldn't. "Aw, come on! I can't even scratch myself?"

A high-pitched chirp followed. Pit watched as a chicken jumped down in front of him.

"Oh, hello there," Pit said.

The chicken, being a chicken of course, ignored him. Pit sighed.

"I wish I could eat something right now."

* * *

><p>Viridi tossed the book she had skimmed through across the room. "It's not that one either!"<p>

She looked around the room and met Cragalanche's eyes.

"Get out of here," she ordered him.

So he did. Viridi scowled at the hole he had made earlier before picking up the next book in the large pile beside her.

_"I wish I could eat something right now."_

She paused and looked around. Who just said that? "Hello?"

There was no response.

* * *

><p>Dark Pit flopped down on a small bed of leaves. He was finally done with what Viridi had asked of him.<p>

Phosphora came down beside him. She looked as if to be thinking. "You know..."

Dark Pit raised an eyebrow. "What now?"

"I just figured something," Phosphora said. "Remember when Pit was a ring?"

"I was deader than a doorknob," he replied as he rolled away from her. "No."

"I thought that since Pit was transformed into a tree, something would happen to you too,"

"From what I know, something has to happen to his soul, not his body,"

"Don't you think we should check on him?"

"Pit Stain can take care of himself," Dark Pit yawned. "Now shut up. I'm trying to nap."

Phosphora smiled. She silently closed in on the angel and held out her index finger...

Dark Pit screamed as electricity ran through his body. "OW!" He sat up. His black hair stood up on the ends.

Phosphora giggled at the sight. "Now will you come with me?"

He pushed his hair back down. "No,"

Phosphora rubbed her hand and sighed. "Alright, but he's _your _opposite." She turned away and closed the door.

The sound of something locking followed. Dark Pit raised an eyelid, but shut it quickly. He didn't care if she had just locked him out of the temple. The angel had learned the temple inside and out during his first few days of working for Viridi. He knew there was hole large enough for him to squeeze through just around the back of it.

* * *

><p>Phosphora approached the maple sapling with a watering can in hand. She bent down next to it.<p>

"Pit, are you alright?" She patted one of the leaves growing on it. "I'm sorry about Mistress Viridi doing this to you." She tipped the can and watched as it wet the ground around him. "She's trying to find you a cure as we speak. Just hold on for a bit, okay?" Phosphora lifted the can and smiled.

* * *

><p>Pit had tried to say something when Phosphora had given him water. Nothing came out. He sighed and watched as she got up and left. At least he didn't feel hungry anymore.<p>

"I'm starting the feel lonely out here," he said. "If there was just a way I could move..."

The chicken he had seen earlier reappeared. It blankly stared at him.

"Can I help you?"

It continued to stare at him. Pit wondered why Viridi would have a chicken in her garden. Wouldn't it try and eat any seeds she had lying around?

The chicken wandered away from him once more. It suddenly clucked and raced off.

"A-alrighty then..." He was starting to feel uncomfortable around the bird. "See ya." He sighed in relief and continued to just stand where he was, just as a tree would.


End file.
